Juventus go into the San Siro and leave like the Prom scene in Carrie. Napoli rise from the dead and eat Sassuolo’s brains. OTFR are the Hanzel and Gretel to the witches of Benevento. Sampdoria welcome their elders of Chievo to the Village of the Damned. Roma let Bologna know, “they are going to need a bigger boat”. Crotone dress up like their dead mother and take out all the Viola at the Bates motel. Genoa have no Van Helsing for when they look into Dracula’s eyes at Spal. And Atalanta ring Udinese’s doorbell for candy but the Little Zebra’s tell them to get off their lawn!